Powerful Personal Narratives Part I

53 Responses to “Powerful Personal Narratives Part I”

  1. Lori Colquist says:

    I love it, Amy! I loved your title too. It reminds me of one of my favorite books, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I laughed out loud when I saw your title. I am amazed by the descriptive language in your story. I feel like it is happening all over again.
    Love, Mom

  2. Mrs. Rodek-Gray says:

    I enjoyed hearing your stories. You all did a super job! I will share this with your buddy class, they will love it!

  3. janaki says:

    Hey Aditya,

    We like your story. I know it was hard for you to move, but I am glad you like it here. That was very good. I enjoyed hearing it. Good job, we are proud of you!

  4. Mrs. Gonzalez says:

    What amazing stories! So many of your stories reminded me of my own stories. I was impressed by your use of dialogue, sound effects, and settings. You should share these stories with your buddies so they can see and hear what good writing looks, and sounds, like. I can’t wait to read more of your writing. Please share more of them with me.
    Keep writing!
    Mrs. Gonzalez

  5. Jill Mastromonica says:

    Joseph! I love this story! I remember when this happened, too, I opened my eyes, and there you were next to me, on the grass. My favorite part of the story was when you were suspended in the air, and you said “Spiderman”! It’s so you! Love, Mom

  6. Jill Mastromonica says:

    Alvin, I laughted out loud at the part of the story where you said, “I’m going to die before I get to three.” I also like the part where you compared yourself to a hippo, trying to catch up with zebras… I could really picture it! Well, in the end you did your situps… did you pass your test? Love, Joe’s Mom

  7. janaki says:

    wow each and every kid was awsome , good job everyone

    adityas mom

  8. Grandma Cathy Colquist says:

    Hi Amy,
    I loved reading your story. You expressed the happenings of that terrible storm I almost thought I was there with you. Great job. Keep up the good work.
    Love Grandma

  9. Jim Colquist says:


    Your story was great. I really liked the background music, it was right out of a dramatic movie!

    Love, Dad

  10. Joseph Mastromonica says:

    Dear Abishek,
    I like the way you said the … out loud in the middle of your story:) I also liked how you used so many similes in your story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Julie Stadler says:

    I loved your story about the water balloon fight with your cousins! You remembered so many details about that day! Your use of dialogue and descriptive language really made the story interesting. The music in the background was awesome! Great job!

  12. Kim Ryan says:


    Great job. It was funny to hear all the sound effects and listen to your memory of the day. It is great to see all you are learning.

    Love, Mom

  13. Rudra says:

    Dear Ashwin,

    I loved your voice in your story. It really blended into your jingle!!!

  14. Tulip Sengupta says:


    I loved your simile ” I was as frustrated as Pooh Bear without any honey!!”

  15. Joseph says:

    Dear Khabib,
    I really like the way your voice sounded and your cover:D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Vanshika says:

    I like your simile, “I was as sad as Pooh Bear without any honey.” Your background music went with your story very well.

  17. Amy says:

    Poor Alvin,
    Your title really caught my eye. I like how you used humor in your writing.

  18. Aanshi says:


    I really liked the jingle you added. It really fit your story well! I think you did a really good job!

  19. Ashwin says:

    I liked the way you said, “Nooooooo” when you almost lost grip of the handle!

  20. Helen says:

    I really like the picture on your cover. If it were a book in the library, that would be the first book I choose. That’s how good your story was!

  21. Aryan says:

    To Rahul
    I really liked your cover because you drew very well and you colored well also.

  22. Aditya says:

    To Rahul,

    I really like your cover. It is very artistic.

  23. Aanshi says:


    Great job on your story! I loved the way you made your tone while you were going through your cousin’s games! ” Blah, blah, blah!”

  24. Abhishek says:

    Dear Joseph,
    I like the way that you used a lot of details in your story. I also liked the name of the title, you kept your title nice and short. Great job!

  25. Khabib says:

    To: Ashwin,

    I like the tone in your voice because it sounds like your rapping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Joseph says:

    Dear Travis,
    I liked the way you were VERY funny with your story. It is very AWESOME!!!

  27. travis says:

    You sound awesome, almost like you outsmarted yourself. AWESOME!

  28. Alvin says:


    I liked how you got me interested in you story by adding lots of funny moments! Now I want to hear more. Did you win? Please reply.

  29. Jessica says:

    I really liked how you showed you were mad at your cousin. Great job. :)

  30. Rudra says:

    Dear Travis

    I loved the way you left me in suspense at the end.I also liked how you made sound effects with your voice.Great job.

  31. Tulip says:


    I loved when you yelled ” I was burning like the sun!!” You really projected your voice!

  32. Abhishek says:

    Dear Travis,
    I like the way that you used some dialouge in your story! Keep it up!

  33. Rahul says:

    Dear Srikar
    I like the way you spoke loud so it was easy to hear.

  34. Aryan says:

    To Aditya
    I loved your backround music because it was very cool!!!!!!!!

  35. Jillian says:

    Great starting sentence. It really made me want to here more.:)

  36. Tulip says:


    I loved the way you expressed your feelings!! You also did a great job with your jingles! Your cover was SPECTACULAR!!
    Great job! =D

  37. Amy says:

    I liked the part when you said, “I was as sad as Pooh Bear without any honey.”

  38. Deepti says:

    I liked how your voice was loud the whole time.It made the story better to understand!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. Deepti says:

    I liked the picture of your cover. It urged me to listen to your story!!!

  40. Ishika says:

    I love the way you said, ” That felt like a hundred million people were yelling,” That really showed how loud you both were yelling. And last , your cover was great!

  41. Ishika says:

    The way you said, ” The end” was funny :)

  42. Joseph Mastromonica says:

    Dear Aitya,
    I like how you made your dad say “were moving” in the middle of your sory:)

  43. Deepti says:

    I liked the way your cover looked. It made me skip right to your story!!!!

  44. Tulip says:


    I loved your title! It caught my eye! =D

  45. Deepti says:

    I liked your jingles throughout the story. It made the story really entertaining!!!!!!

  46. Tulip says:


    I loved your title! I could automatically just tell myself “I want to listen to this Personal Narrative!”

  47. Rajat says:


    I liked how you used similes to help me understand the story.

  48. Rudr says:

    Dear Ashwin,

    I liked the way how you chose your jingle because it makes it sound like you were rapping:)

  49. Rudra says:

    Dear Srikar,

    I liked the way how you made your voice loud and clear so I could hear it well. Great job :)

  50. Tapash says:

    Tulip — Looks like you had quite a fun time with your cousin as you both went through the battle. You have expressed your true feelings very eloquently. Great job.

    “Dad” –

  51. Jillian says:

    I loved your thesis statement .It made me wanna hear what else this awesome writer wrote! (:

  52. Jessica says:

    I really liked how you expressed how your dad said, “We’re moving”. Great job.:)

  53. Subadra says:

    Ms. Eiseman’s class,
    Great job everybody! I enjoyed listening to all your stories.

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