Powerful Personal Narratives Part II

67 Responses to “Powerful Personal Narratives Part II”

  1. Helen says:

    I really liked the way you used metaphores. It made me feel like I was there with you. Excellent!

  2. Mrs. Rodek-Gray says:

    Super stories! I can’t wait to share them with my class. They videotaped their stories and will share them with you in January. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Cathy Colquist says:

    Mrs. Eiseman’s class,
    Great stories by all the students. You are all amazing. I would love to read more of them.
    Good Job and thank you for sharing them with me.

  4. Deepti says:

    Thank you so much!!!!! I enjoyed yours,too.Your word choice was amazing!!!!!!

  5. Tulip Sengupta says:


    I loved your jingles! They matched every part of your story!

  6. Aryan says:

    I really like your story because I liked the way you said, “Agaaiiin”,and,”I’m sowwy.”

  7. Helen says:

    Poor you, Alvin.
    I know how hard it is to do at least fifty sit-ups in a row, let alone 500!
    The tone of your voice really told me how you felt. Nice story!

  8. Rahul says:

    Dear Rahul,
    I liked the way you expressed your words.

    From: Neetu Bhalla

  9. travis says:

    I like how you spoke in a loud voice, and what did you play on your ds? I want to know. Great job.

  10. Abhishek says:

    I liked the way that you added humor in your personal narrative. I also liked the way that used a lot of details. I could make a clear movie in my mind. Great job!!!

  11. Jessica says:

    I really liked how you added sound effects. It really made your story stand out.:)

  12. Deepti says:

    Your title encouraged me. It was the thing that made me listen to your awesome story!!!!!

  13. Rajat says:


    I like that you mentioned that you had a cast. I know how you felt because I once had a cast.

  14. Aryan says:

    To Rajat,

    I really liked your cover because it looked very cool !

  15. Abhishek says:

    I like the way you used amazing word choice. I also like the ending. It was great! Good job

  16. Deepti says:

    I loved the tone of your voice throughout the story. It really made your story more interesting!!!!!!!!

  17. travis says:

    Alvin don’t feel bad if you just made it I would fainted at 7, and I hope your chest fells better. Good job

  18. srikar says:

    I like your story. It has a lot of details. It must have took a lot of time to make it!

  19. Joseph says:

    To Alvin
    I really liked the way you said you were going to DIE before you got to three. I also liked the background music!

  20. Amy says:

    Your jingles matched your story perfectly! Good job!

  21. Ishika says:

    Your sound effects went with your story perfectly! Also, your “AHHHHHH!” was very funny!!

  22. Rajat says:


    I like how you used sound words to tell how loud it was.

  23. travis says:

    Thanks for reminding me of when I broke my big toe. Thanks. Good job!

  24. Tulip says:


    I loved your jingles! They totally matched your story! Great job!

  25. Amy says:

    The way you ended your story was VERY funny! Good job!

  26. Tulip says:


    I really liked how you changed your voice when you needed to! Great job!

  27. Sukruthi says:


    I liked the way you kept your voice very loud the whole story.Great job.

  28. Vanshika says:

    I liked your sound effects at the end.I also liked your cover,it was colorful.

  29. Jillian says:

    You had a very clear voice, so it was very easy to hear your great impression!

  30. Rajat says:


    I like your cover. It tells me exactly what the story is about.

  31. Deepti says:

    Thank you Tulip!!!! Your story was great, too. It had a lot of details:)

  32. srikar says:

    Ashwin, I like the cool voice you put in your podcast. I also enjoyed your jingles. It must have took a long time to make your podcast!

  33. Sukruthi says:


    I liked the way you said BOOM POOF when the smoke color bombs blasted.It made me feel I was with you.

  34. Ishika says:

    I love your adjectives. They really described how you felt!

  35. Deepti says:

    I liked how you described how the doctor’s office looked like. It made me feel like I was in the doctor’s office myself!!!!!!!

  36. Vanshika says:

    I like the way you said ” Come on! No! Come on ! No!” IT really caught my attension

  37. Joseph says:

    Dear Rahul,
    I liked your story because there was a happy ending:D!

  38. Helen says:

    The way you ended your story perfectly fits in your writing. The way you used dialouge tells me what was happening.

  39. Helen says:

    Your title caught my eye and that’s what made me read your story.
    The way you used a loud speaking voice maade it really easy to hear. Awesome job!

  40. Aanshi says:


    Amazing story! You did a really good job! I really like your jingles! I wish I thought of using that jingle! I really liked how you started your story! Great story!

  41. Aanshi says:


    Great story! Your title really caught my eye! You chose a really nice jingle! It really blended into your story!

    From: Aanshi

  42. Deepti says:

    Thank you so much!!!!! “The Sleep Tricks” was also amazing. YOUR story really caught MY attension too!!!

  43. Deepti says:

    I liked your story throughout the way, but the best part was the ending!!!!!!!! Your story was great!!!!!!!

  44. Deepti says:

    Thank you so much!!!!!!!! Your story was aazing too. You had a lot of details!!!!!

  45. Deepti says:

    I liked how your cover looked. It made me read on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. Deepti says:

    I like your incredible title. Even before I listened to your story, I knew I wanted to hear it!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. Ishika says:

    I like the way you said, ” 10 MORE! ” It made me want to keep reading and your voice was loud enough for me to hear everything clearly! :)

  48. Ishika says:

    The way you said,” Why thank you, thank you very much,” was very funny!

  49. Aanshi says:


    You did a really good job of picking a name for your title! Your title was so interesting, it just made me want to read it! I truly think that you did a fantastic job choosing a jingle! it was really catchy! FANTASTIC job! :) :)

  50. Aanshi says:


    Your title was something to talk about! Your title was so good, so interesting! I knew that I wanted to read as soon as I saw the title! GREAT job! :) :) :)

  51. Rajat says:


    I liked how you changed accents in your story. That made it more funny.

  52. Aanshi says:


    I think you did a great job on your title! You did a great job choosing the title! Your title really just made me want to read your story! I also liked your cover very much! It must have token you a long time!

  53. Aanshi says:


    I really enjoyed your ending! It was really funny when you changed your voice while saying, ” Thank you!” Great work!

  54. Abhishek says:

    Dear Rajat,
    I loved the way you put a lot of effort into this personal narrative. I also liked the way that you used some dialogue. Great job, keep it up!

  55. Abhishek says:

    Dear Rahul,
    I liked the way that you told your emotion. Now I know how bad it must hurt. Amazing job with your story! Keep up the great work!

  56. Ashwin says:

    Hey Alvin I wouldn’t even go until two so don’t feel bad!

  57. Ashwin says:

    I liked the way your jingles and your music combined sounded!

  58. Alvin says:


    Your title was very funny. But when I listened to your story, I heard you fell a lot of times and you used all the towels, and the list goes on. It was probably a bad storm you will never forget.

  59. Neetu and Lalit says:

    Hi Rahul,

    We liked your title “Ouchie” and the way you captured all the details :) ; took us back 6 years when the incident happened.

    - Mom & Dad

  60. Neetu and Lalit says:

    Ms. Eiseman’s class,

    We read some of the stories so far and every one of them is great!! Keep posting, we love these blogs :)

    -Rahul’s parents

  61. Jillian says:

    I really liked your vivid detail! Great work!

  62. Tulip says:


    You made an awesome,spectacular,beautiful,great cover! I just knew I wanted to listen to this story!


  63. Ms.Horowitz says:

    Ms.Eiseman’s Class,

    WOW!!!! You are all such wonderful writers!! I was able to picture each story in my mind because of the wonderful details, sound efffects, and dialogue you all used! You have come so far as writers since 2nd grade and you should be very proud of yourselves!! Keep up the good work! :)

  64. sukruthi says:


    Thank you very much. Your story was amazing too.I liked your jingles.They matched your story!

  65. sukruthi says:


    Your cover is spectacular.It caught my eye.I wondered what was going to go on in the story.So I just listened to it.Great job!

  66. SUbadra says:

    Great stories. Looks like we have a bunch of screen play writers, authors ,dialogue writers in making…
    THanks for sharing..

  67. khabib says:

    dear Alvin,

    I like how you added “to make a long story short” and “to make a short story long”.


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